Yo. Spring is srsly, f’real upon us, because suddenly I have a boner for everyone and everything that crosses My path. WTF?!?! I can’t be havin this many boners, y’all. Imma have a heart attack or somethin. SRSLY. Today I had a half-boner for a lame hipster at a local bar and a full boner [...]
I have the sort of indulgent hobby of sitting down with the food sections of all the weekly papers and looking up each featured restaurant’s menu online. I’ve amassed a mental list of at least fifty Chicago restaurants I’d visit if I had the money. I won a trip to Blackbird in a Superbowl [...]
I started My period this afternoon. I have horrible cramps so I decided to run a special. I am offering $50 off foot and leg worship sessions during My period, which usually lasts 3-4 days, so book your appointment soon if you want to have some fun!
For breakfast I had a poppyseed bagel with whipped cream cheese and grav lax. For breakfast-dessert, spearmint tea and ginger cookies. Laura is infinitely scarier in the last episode of Twin Peaks than Bob ever was. It looks like the sky might be clearing up. I’m sitting here waiting for My period to arrive. It [...]
